Brennan Symposium
Lessons from Survivor: Parvati Shallow Talks Trust, Vulnerability, and Choosing Yourself
What does the reality TV show Survivor have in common with college life? For Parvati Shallow, winner of Survivor: Micronesia and a four-time contestant, the answer is relationships.聽
鈥淧eople think when they are watching Survivor that it鈥檚 a game of deception and strategy and 鈥榢ill or be killed,鈥欌�� Shallow said.聽鈥淭hat is true, in a way, but it is also really a game about relationships. It鈥檚 a game about building strong relationships, and the people that can do that succeed.鈥澛�
鈥淚 think the beauty of relationships is you just throw yourself right into them, and if you go with an open heart, curiosity, and the willingness to be vulnerable, you鈥檙e going to succeed,鈥� Shallow said.
For Shallow, there isn鈥檛 such a thing as a failed relationship. 鈥淭here are only two kinds of relationships鈥攖hose that help you win and those that help you learn,鈥� Shallow said.聽
Shallow emphasized that the people we surround ourselves with play a key role in shaping our character and personality. She recommended taking opportunities to identify the most important people in your life and recognizing what they bring.
鈥淚 love assessing the state of our relationships鈥攚ho you鈥檙e closest to鈥攂ecause whoever you鈥檙e closest to, you are going to become them,鈥� Shallow said.
Just like on Survivor, some people in your life won鈥檛 always have your back, but by figuring out who you can trust, you can strengthen your relationships and way of life, she said.聽
鈥淚f you do have time to assess if someone鈥檚 a safe person, take your time and assess, and then you鈥檒l know this is a safe person for me to be vulnerable with and share my authentic truth with,鈥� Shallow said.聽
In the final tribal council, Survivor contestants rely on the relationships they built to secure a win, but Shallow said this mindset doesn鈥檛 end after a winner is crowned. Even beyond the game, she added, having close, supportive relationships will strengthen your life.聽
鈥淚t鈥檚 always really helpful to have a teacher, a mentor, older sister, a family member, an aunt, anyone in your life who can talk you up to other people,鈥� Shallow said.聽
People will inevitably encounter toxic relationships, and in these moments, Shallow stressed the importance of choosing yourself, even if it means ending a relationship. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e going to have to choose yourself, probably a lot, and sometimes when you choose yourself, it hurts other people,鈥� Shallow said.
In Survivor, opening up to other contestants often led to betrayal鈥攁nd the same can happen in real life, according to Shallow.
鈥淚 tend to overshare,鈥� Shallow said. 鈥淚鈥檝e really had to learn the hard way not to open up to every person that I meet, because I really like connecting with people. It鈥檚 fun for me, and I鈥檝e learned that some people will use that against you.鈥�
Adapted from聽聽article by聽Annika Engelbrecht '27 and聽Angelina Li '26.聽